(this was something I wrote for friends and family to help them understand how to reference me in stories relating to me, pre-transition).
The “too long; didn’t read” version of this is simple: Emily / female pronouns. Always. Even when referring to events taking place prior to my transition. [Except for those of you who are temporarily refraining from using my current name and pronouns for fear of slipping and using them among people to whom I’m not out.]
If you’re really interested in my ramblings about Federal Register notices and statutory interpretation, you may recall that I was very pleased with myself for a certain bit of reasoning that got me where I needed it to go. The reasoning was that, because the statutory provision was phrased in the present perfect tense, it was a present look back at past actions, and therefore whenever that provision applied, those past actions couldn’t at that moment be considered under an exclusion that rendered the provision inapplicable. If you didn’t follow, that’s OK, because there’s only one key point here:
Present look back at past circumstances.
Whenever you’re talking about me and my past, you’re (at that moment) in the present and looking back at past circumstances. Accordingly, you should be using the name and pronouns of the present. My name is Emily. As a woman, the correct pronouns for me are she/her. If you are talking about something that happened in 2010, my name is still Emily, and the correct pronouns are still she/her. If you are talking about something that happened in 1985, my name is still Emily, and the correct pronouns are still she/her. If it’s absolutely necessary to clarify that I was presenting as a cis male at the time, you should ask yourself if that would mean outing me to someone who isn’t aware I’m trans (I may not pass as cisgender now, but that doesn’t mean that’ll always be the case), and also why that clarification is necessary.
This is a matter of basic respect.